Apprehending

So, I have been running consistently now for 12 days.  And if you are familiar with me on any level you are probably having to go fetch your jaw off the floor--but it is true.  The next shocker may be that I'm actually enjoying myself.  Now, we won't get carried away because so far I'm only up to two blocks (yippee skippee), but I'm doing remarkably better than I expected.  All this stems from my Living Proof Live conference weekend at the end of March.  If you don't know Beth Moore, you should.  She partnered with Jesus to get all up in my business a couple weeks ago.  Before that time, I have been in a spiritual wasteland for so long.   It is the most agonizing pain of my life, but my prayer for that weekend was that God wouldn't let me leave still feeling numb.  And PRAISE HIM, He still answers my prayers.  Beth was bringing the Word from Philippians 3...you know, "Not that I have already attained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."  Now, there's a lot of really cool word-play going on in the chapter that Beth can explain a lot better than me.  But I had a few of those moments that I like to call God winking at me--when He just shows up and makes me sure that He's been listening to my thoughts all along.  I love those moments.  To further explain, this idea of a pursuit or a chase in my relationship with my Savior has been vastly important to me.  Nothing quite bursts my heart like realizing the depths God goes to when He comes after me.  He is always on the hunt for us--what an amazing concept!  Something that stuck (I guess the hardest) to me from the LPL weekend was this idea of us running our race towards Christ in exactly the same manner.  With "eyes on the prize" focus, following Him with a purpose!  I realized that I have been spiritually sitting on my miserable bottom in this wasteland.  I did not find God because I wasn't really seeking.  I haven't been even strolling after Him.  It made me sorry.  But I'm telling this story here with the conclusion that I am literally picking up the pace.  I have made a commitment to run (my least favorite form of exercise) for 40 days, since I like the symbolism in my life.  If you read this (bless you), hold me accountable!  So far I've gone 12 days, and I don't want to give up as I am so prone to do.  "I do not consider that I have already obtained all this, but one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..."  By the grace of God, I can run two blocks.  And He and I use that time to show off for each other.  Boy, is He good.  And that wasteland STINKS.